Hints for Facilitators: Handling Difficult Behaviors in Meetings

Hints for Facilitators:
Handling Difficult Behaviors in Meetings

how they behave

why

what to do

heckler aggressive, argumentative, gets satisfaction from needling others
Don't let him/her upset you.

Try to find merit in one of his/her points; express your agreement, and then move on to something else.

overly-talkative
These people usually fall into four categories:

an "eager beaver"
a show-off
someone exceptionally well-informed and anxious to use it
just plain talkative

Wait until he/she takes a breath; then thank him/her and say something like "Lets hear from someone else." Or say "That's an interesting point... what do the rest of you think?"

Try slowing the person down with a difficult question

If he/she makes an obvious misstatement of facts, toss the comment back to the group and let them correct the person.

In general, let the group take care of him/her as much as possible.

griper They may have a particular pet peeve, or may just gripe at random, for the sake of complaining. In some cases they may have a legitimate complaint.
Point out that the purpose of the meeting is to find better ways to do things by constructive cooperation.

In some cases, have a member of the group answer instead of you.

won't talk
This person may be:

bored
superior
timid, uncertain

Arouse interest by asking directly for his/her opinion

Ask for his/her view after indicating respect for his/her experience (but don't overdo this!)

Compliment or encourage him/her the first time he/she talks

personality clash between members Sometimes differences of opinion get too heated; other times, people just don't get along.
Compliment the individuals on their enthusiasm and participation, but ask them to focus on constructive solutions.

Emphasize points they agree on.

Toss out a question to the rest of the group, bringing them back into the discussion.

side conversations May be commenting on the discussion, or may be having a personal conversation.
Don't embarrass the person, but call him/her by name and ask an easy question.

Or, call him/her by name, then restate the last opinion expressed or the last remark, and ask what he/she thinks.

definitely wrong This person may be confused or misinformed.
If he/she is confused, say something like "Let me see if I understand you..." and tactfully restate the comment more clearly.

If misinformed, thank him/her, then ask for another comment on the same subject. This permits a member of the group to do the correcting.

Return to Tools for Organizers, Activists, Educators, and Other Hell-Raisers

how they behave	why	what to do
heckler	aggressive, argumentative, gets satisfaction from needling others	Don't let him/her upset you. Try to find merit in one of his/her points; express your agreement, and then move on to something else.
overly-talkative	These people usually fall into four categories: an "eager beaver" a show-off someone exceptionally well-informed and anxious to use it just plain talkative	Wait until he/she takes a breath; then thank him/her and say something like "Lets hear from someone else." Or say "That's an interesting point... what do the rest of you think?" Try slowing the person down with a difficult question If he/she makes an obvious misstatement of facts, toss the comment back to the group and let them correct the person. In general, let the group take care of him/her as much as possible.
griper	They may have a particular pet peeve, or may just gripe at random, for the sake of complaining. In some cases they may have a legitimate complaint.	Point out that the purpose of the meeting is to find better ways to do things by constructive cooperation. In some cases, have a member of the group answer instead of you.
won't talk	This person may be: bored superior timid, uncertain	Arouse interest by asking directly for his/her opinion Ask for his/her view after indicating respect for his/her experience (but don't overdo this!) Compliment or encourage him/her the first time he/she talks
personality clash between members	Sometimes differences of opinion get too heated; other times, people just don't get along.	Compliment the individuals on their enthusiasm and participation, but ask them to focus on constructive solutions. Emphasize points they agree on. Toss out a question to the rest of the group, bringing them back into the discussion.
side conversations	May be commenting on the discussion, or may be having a personal conversation.	Don't embarrass the person, but call him/her by name and ask an easy question. Or, call him/her by name, then restate the last opinion expressed or the last remark, and ask what he/she thinks.
definitely wrong	This person may be confused or misinformed.	If he/she is confused, say something like "Let me see if I understand you..." and tactfully restate the comment more clearly. If misinformed, thank him/her, then ask for another comment on the same subject. This permits a member of the group to do the correcting.